Transcripts/The Dark Side of Disney!
Thomas: And now... our Feature Presentation! I've always wanted to do that. *logo* Thomas: WHAT IS UP, EVERYBODY! Okay, things you probably don't know about me: I have a big freckle right behind my ear, I despise carrots, AND I can't go to sleep without making sure my closet door is closed for fear of shadow demons and/or the Demogorgon coming in and attacking me while I slumber, the usual stuff. BUT, one of the things you most likely do know about me is that I love me some good ol' fashioned Disney. Princey: Did someone say Prince? Thomas: N-no. And dude, you gotta stop interrupting my vlog. This is like the third one in a row you've popped up in! Princey: Thomas, I'm the Prince, okay? You decided to talk about Disney, how am I not gonna show up? Thomas: Well, I was bringing it up because I wanted to talk about the many messages Disney movies provide. Princey: That sounds SUPER! Thomas: I know! It does. Now-- Princey: ...califragilisticexpialidocious. Thomas: Yes. So-- Princey: Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. Thomas: STOP. Anxiety: Did someone say 'atrocious'? Princey: Are you kidding me? We have expelled you from the last TWO videos! Do you know how rude it is to interrupt a vlog? Thomas: Wh-- Um... Okay. Well, Anxiety, I gotta admit, I don't know why you are here. Anxiety: Simple. I, too, am a Disney fan. Princey: PFFFFFT -laughs- You? -laughing- Anxiety: What? Why is that so hard to believe? Princey: Disney movies are the embodiment of goodness and purity, something you would know nothing about! -laughs- Anxiety: You must not be watching the same movies then, 'cause the movies I know have much more sinister undertones. Come on, Thomas, you must sense it. I'm just making sure you're alert to all of the messages in those films, whether they were intentional or not. Thomas: Actually, this is kind of intriguing. Princey: What? Thomas: So you think every movie has a darker meaning or a misleading message? Anxiety: Oh yeah. Princey: THIS IS RIDICULOUS! You besmirch the name of Disney? This time, you have gone too far! Anxiety: Really? This is where you cross the line? Thomas: Well, how 'bout this? I will throw out some Disney movies and you two tell me what I'm supposed to learn from each movie. Princey: Practically perfect, in every way. Anxiety: Why are you only quoting Mary Poppins? Princey: BECAUSE JULIE ANDREWS IS A BEAUTIFUL GODDESS AND BECAUSE I CAN, OKAY? Thomas: O-kay... Uh, Movie #1, Cinderella. Princey: Ha! Easy. Believe in your dreams and one day, they will come true. Anxiety: Sure, just literally wait around your entire life, subjecting yourself to the cruelty of your ungrateful, ignorant family members, until some magical fairy comes along to save you. Don't take action yourself. Princey: She had mice, too! Anxiety: Not to mention, men can't memorize the face of a woman they've been dancing around with for hours, they have to rely on the shoe. Ergo... men are idiots. Princey: HE WAS A VERY BUSY PRINCE! HE HAD A LOT ON HIS MIND! Thomas: Okay, let's just move to another. Um, Snow White! Princey: Okay, so this time the message is to NOT do what the princess did. Don't accept random fruit from strangers. Thomas: Or, don't eat fruit...? Princey: No. Thomas: No? Anxiety: The bigger message is to just run away from your problems and become the housekeeper for seven men. Princey: Sometimes the best solution is to get out of a bad situation! Thomas: Yeah, I'm a Hufflepuff, I tend to run away from every situation. -laughs- Anxiety: Don't make all Hufflepuffs out to be like that, Thomas. Not to mention, a prince comes out of nowhere and plants a kiss on a seemingly sleeping girl? I guess consent isn't really that important. Princey: HE THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD! IT WAS A FAREWELL KISS! What's with all the prince hate? Anxiety: I wonder. Thomas: Okay, well, how about something a little bit more recent: Frozen. Princey: A sister's love triumphs over all! Anxiety: And don't trust random princes. I can get behind that. Princey: I swear... Anxiety: Also, when Elsa passes away, Olaf's gonna die too, 'cause the magic will be gone. So just prolong the inevitable? Princey: WHOA WHOA WHOA Thomas: WOW. Anxiety: I warned you, I warned you. Thomas: Wow, that is really dark! Princey: WHOA WHOA WHOA! Thomas: Okay, let's lighten it back up with Peter Pan? Princey: Don't let your childhood spirit ever die. Anxiety: Also, it's totally fine to believe a random stranger when they tell you to jump out the window after they've broken into your house. But I would guess that's how your whole being would die. Princey: Urgh... Thomas: Yikes. Okay, how about Aladdin? My favorite! Princey: The value of a person is not determined by wealth. A diamond in the rough can be found anywhere, even someone who may be considered a street rat. Anxiety: And they can get what they want by lying and deceiving their way right into the castle and getting the princess. Princey: OH, COME ON! He came clean in the end! He even freed the Genie! Anxiety: Yeah, he did. But not before LYING AND DECEIVING his way right into the castle and getting the princess. Princey: OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Thomas: Fox and the Hound. Princey: True friendship overcomes any boundaries set by society. Anxiety: But then that friendship will be immediately be terminated by that society, and the two must learn their place in the world. Princey: Wow. Anxiety: That is literally what happened at the end of that movie. Thomas: It's true, I cried.Beauty and the Beast! Princey: Okay, I know what you're gonna say, you're gonna say-- Anxiety: Stockholm Syndrome. Princey: --Stockholm Syndrome, BUT, it is MORE than just a prisoner falling in love with her kidnapper! It is about a love that transcends outward appearance. Even a beastly, hairy, ANIMAL-- you're right, that doesn't sound much better. But COME ON, can you really look down so harshly on these movies? Anxiety: I still like them, there's just some darker messages that we don't first see. Princey: Bambi? Anxiety: Man is dangerous. Princey: Pocahontas! Anxiety: WHITE man is dangerous. Princey: SLEEPING BEAUTY! Anxiety: Well, now we're back to the lack of consent with sleeping women. Princey: IT WAS TO LIFT A CURSE! Thomas: The Little Mermaid? Anxiety: Don't just sign a contract without having your mer-lawyer look over all the fine print and stipulations. That one's just common sense. Princey: Or learn to write, or use sign language. There's more than one way to tell the prince you're the girl that saved him. Thomas: Oh, now wait, did I just detect a hint of sarcasm towards a Disney movie? Anxiety: Whoa. Princey: Well, there's always been one or two things I've noticed. Frankly, just make it easier for the princes. We could use a helping hand every once and awhile. Anxiety: Or shoes. Princey: Or shoes, yes. Thomas: Well then, how about we just concede that Disney movies have a LOT of different, interesting messages within them. Anxiety: Duh, that's what I've been saying. I never said Princey was wrong. Princey: You didn't? Anxiety: No. Princey: Well, then I suppose I shall concede a few points to you. Anxiety: Great. Princey: Excellent. Anxiety: Cool. Princey: Still don't like you. Anxiety: What was that? Princey: Uhh... Chim-Chim-Cheroo! Anxiety: Ah, Mary Poppins. Okay. Thomas: Okay... oof. Well, my personality is very weird, I'm very sorry about that. BUT! I hope that you did enjoy that little Disney debate. Maybe you all can think of some interesting messages from other Disney movies we didn't cover. If you do, please feel free to share them. And until next time, take it easy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals! PEACE OUT! *end card* Princey: Okay, uh, how about Mulan? Anxiety: There's never a wrong time to dress in drag. Princey: Lion King! Anxiety: There's never a wrong time to dress in drag-- Both: --and do the hula! AAAAAAAAAAAAA-- Category:Transcripts